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Oct 27th, 2009 at 19:05:40 - Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC) |
There were two instances in my play in which my character let someone go. The first was early in the parking lot, where the boy let another go due to being fond of him. The second was in the gymnasium, when he let a girl go so she would wake up every day and think of how he granted her the ability to continue to live. Tying this together with some of the things the boys say about their plan, about how they will not be forgotten in their deaths, how today is huge, seem to really point out a falseness in what they preach.
For, they continue to whine about how they hate this life, how it is pointless and worthless and terrible, how all they really want is to leave the world. However, the fact that they let a friend go, mixed with the fact that they desire to be remembered and to get revenge for the jocks who beat them up, shows that they do feel that the life has worth. They don't kill a friend, so they must understand that life does hold value. They want to stand out in the world, so they do understand that living life (and making a mark on it) has value. (I merely point this out, because it continues to stick out, how fragile their manic beliefs are when looked at closely.)
There way that the boys leveled up in this massacre, as is normal in games of the same style, also shows an interesting flow: it kept getting easier to kill the other students. This only stuck out, because it seems as if it could be linked with the psychological mindframe that may be encountered in this act. While I canot say for certain, I would imagine that as they continued their massacre, it would seem more and more natural; that they sink into the role they have constructed as time passes and as what has been done begins to lead to their inevitable exit through death.
Speaking of their death, I find it extremely poor taste to show the actual photos of the idiot boys when they were dead. I feel that a dead body is a very personal thing, and should not be attached so easily to any form of media. To show such a personal thing to strangers ... to broadcast it or attatch it to a form of media ... I just feel that this is something that is extremely innappropriate. (Truthfully, I almost threw up at this moment)
Finally, I would like to write breifly on Hell. While this entire game made me feel extremely aweful and brought forward many horrid memories and fears fromthat time, sending the boys to Hell was a ridiculous add-on. The feel of the game to that point was a disturbing, yet solemn, re-enactment of an actual event. Tacking on this trip to hell at the end gave the game a sort of laughing feel. Suddenly the game felt like it was trying to be ridiculous and flippant. It simply did not fit well, and made the previous game events able to be possibly looked at in a mocking sort of view.
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Oct 25th, 2009 at 12:49:25 - Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC) |
The same sick feeling persisted through this day's round of Super Columbine Massacre. It is the first time I have played a game with a completely blank expression both on my face and in my head.
Today the shooting started in the game after a brief soliliquy in which the idiot boys continued to ramble out their nonscensical world-view which has already been discussed. When the shooting occured, there was something that really popped out about the 'social' aspect of thi version of Columbine.
The first of which is the difference i which boys and girls were portrayed. The boys fought back, somewhat effectively (though, against guns and knives, there is an obvious limit to effectivenedd). The girls ... cried. While this crying healed them, I find it hard to imagine that in reality a girl would just sit there and cry as she is being slashed to death. This difference in the roles that gender plays in the victims make the game feel rather shallow and forced.
A second aspect of these victim students that stands out if the classifications they fall under. There are jocks, preppy girls, sheltered girls. church girls/boys, etc. These classifications make it feel as if this game takes place in an old-fashioned teenage drama show (Although, I did enjoy the 'bumpkin cherub' with his overalls). While I can see an attempt to try and lighten the mood created by slaughtering high school students by putting them under such stereotypical classifications, the beginning of the game echoed eerily realistic in mood; these classifications make the game seem just as pathetic as the idiot boys it attempts to illustrate.
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Oct 24th, 2009 at 13:17:22 - Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC) |
The premise of this game is very unsettling. I lived very close to columbine and remember when it happened, even though I was just a little girl at the time. The whole time playing it, I had a sort of disgusted knot in my stomach at the fact that I am playing a game as the people who gave me nightmares as a little girl.
In today's hour of play, I spent trying t get to the cafeteria and then trying to figur out how to plant the bombs (you have to get them out of the trunk first, who would have thought? x_x). Since my progress in the game was minimal, I will discuss the setup of the game's plot.
These kids are idiots. The views of the world that they claim are extremely vague "death is necessary to enjoy life". They have evidence from surces ranging from Marilyn Manson to Shakespeare (at least, I believe they do, the text was extremely difficult to read). However, my feelng of their "sources" are that they take words they hard and shove these words out of any context they might have been in, and mix them together to CREATE proof for their view. A line of Shakespear, a verse of Manson, a random video about a jaded military figure - all of these are put together by these kids like magnetic poetry.
It is not a good sign for their logic that they can use such constructions for the basis of their 'big day'. They created a philosophy using these pretty words and use that philosophy as an excuse to do what they enjoy doing - blowing things up.
In the flashback triggered by the pizza box, the fact that they were the type of children who enjoy fireworks is made evident. They made things explode for the sheer joy of it. So, it seems like despite their sad attempt at philosphical rage, the true driving force behind this plan could very likely be a simply eagerness to make school explode (although I can't quite imagine how 2 bombs in one loaction is enough to destroy an entire school).
Besides their rag-tag, nonsensical world view, another thing about their behavior that stands out is that thes kids simply seem ... bored. In the flahback, when they talk about their futures, being accepted to go to ASU (although gods knows why anyone would want to live in Tempe) and applying for the Marines gives them no excitemeent or enthusiasm. They simply don't care. This suggests that they are simply depressed or lost in attempts to create a world view that they are bored to the point that nothing tied to the life they have seems exciting.
Their ways of speaking also make them seem a little bored with their life. Thei careless language and speaking style seems to add to this appearence of lisless boredom.
So, from my viewpoint, their plan is created from their idiotic philospohy as well as a boredom with daily life; no enthusiasm for anything other that behaving incorrectly (stealing things from work for explosions, and creating and planting bombs). I still conclude that these kids are idiots.
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Sep 21st, 2009 at 10:01:16 - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas (PS2) |
Another day began with Grand Theft Auto: San andreas. I believe at one point last night I had a bad dream about just thata event. Today, however, my focus will be on the behaviors of all the citizens of the Grand Theft auto world.
In this game, CJ's life is turned around by the death of his mother. Naturally, he and his siblings are all upset about her passing. It is a very normal feeling to mourn a family member who dies. However, besides this protectiveness of family, everyone else is worth less than dirt. Constant shooting is what filled my play this time around, and it made me cringe that every character seems to place an incredibly low value on life.
I remember the first day I played, when I was first getting used to the controls, I accidentaly punched a hooker. The hooker then pulled out a gun (out of where?!) and started shooting at me! It was so outrageous that a simple punch from another would result in CJ being peppered with bullets. It is a realistic issue for a hooker to need to be able to protectt herself, but the sudden shooting was simply too much.
Everyone in this game carries a gun. Not only that, but everyone in this game USES that gun. Frequently. It is a very droll story when everyone places an equally low value on the life of everyoen around them. The chances of no one caring a mite about someone dying right in front of them seem very low, and once again, it seems in poor taste to popularize such a cold mindset and turn it into entertainment.
And since this is my last entry on this game, let me close with one hearty exclamation: "THANK GODS ITS OVER!!!" Although this game game me a few giggles, and the ability to run and jump in realistic ways was quite fun, the plot and setting of the story completely made me want to break my disc, light it on fire, then bury it five hundred feet underground.
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In_Memory has been with GameLog for 15 years, 2 months, and 4 days |
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