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    Oct 25th, 2010 at 00:02:23     -    Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC)

    Super Columbine

    Well I already feel really antsy about playing this game, knowing about the massacre. My brain is struggling to interpret the font. I think it’s due to the graphics, but I cannot change them at all. I am playing as Eric, and I have an RPG status menu that displays my level, hp, exp., weapons, and gear. The game has a very cozy RPG asthetic about it. Soon after I begin to play, Eric states that people will probably blame things that he likes for what he is about to do, such as Marlyn Manson and Doom. I already know that these were attacked in reality, so I believe that this is the designer’s choice to bring up the ludicrous nature that a game and singer would bring about this massacre. Playing this is giving me a strange sensation, due to what I think has to see their actual faces in dialogue boxes. This kind of creeps me out, since I am constantly being reminded that these are not fictitious events. Also I am trying not to think about what I know I will inevitably do. I have picked up some homemade explosives and put them into a duffle bag. I have another party member! Typically in a normal RPG I would typically respond with excitement, but in this instance I find myself saying: “ uuuhhhh,” in a baffled and slightly nervous fashion. The funny thing is that I keep saving the game, so that I don’t lose progress. This is probably due to muscle memory, but nevertheless, I found that to be kind of interesting. Now I am watching what I believe is Natural Born Killers for inspiration. Time to go set the time bombs in the cafeteria. It is kind of interesting seeing this interpretation of being in their shoes, yet it is also nerve-racking. This game really tests the player into making the decision if they really want to replay this event, especially as the gunmen. I keep getting caught, I guess that makes me a bad gunman, but I think deep down that is what my moral compass is telling me to do. I keep failing at making it to the cafeteria, and in my last attempt I pulled the fire alarm. The marilyn Manson CD gives all my stats a boost. Reiterating the media attention that was given due to this game.

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    Sep 21st, 2010 at 20:59:51     -    Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

    Day 3: Start the day with a drive-by. I, CJ Johnson without question, will drive my homies around to shoot people. Even though I am taking my homies to go kill gang members, it is not ok to put this many people in danger. Also if morally killing the enemy gang is the right thing to do, then what does that say about my gang? Looks like I did not do so well, for the car started on fire and exploded. I was the only survivor. This is only reaffirming the circle of violence that I am not helping. I have received respect and money for aiding in the murder of bad people. That sounds like it may be argued to be morally good in a way, but due to our reasoning it is bad. We killed them for power and status in the community. I have to go extract my brother from a shoot out. I die. Decide I can work out, so I do so. I am now perfectly chistled according to the game. I decide to do a mission for Big Smoke instead. I have to go pick up OG Loc who just got out of jail. I have to help Loc kill someone who stole his rhymes, because he’s gangsta and was disrespected. I think I killed him because he was his “partner in prison” or something like that. I could not understand the conversation over the loud motorcycle. Nevertheless, I do not think that guy deserved to die. I am now going to steal a sound system for OG Loc. I really have no idea why, because it does not benefit me in any way nor do I like the guy that I am stealing it for. When I stole the van everyone opened fire on me, so I am not sure why one would want to steal in a world where every one can shoot other people without consequence.

    Time to help OG Loc again. CJ comes up with a good idea to hire a writer for Loc’s rap. Finally something that doesn’t require me to break a commandment! Oh? What’s this? Of course, we decide that I should steal a book from a famous rapper. Looks like we are stricken to doing bad things forever. In this game you cannot be moral, you cannot apply moral theories to this game so far, for everything I have done has been very bad. It is home invasion time. Things just went from bad to worse, since the game just taught me how to kill a man silently with a knife. On top of that the man was an innocent security guard who probably had a family. I just killed another man, but while I was doing CJ yelled: “the name’s CJ, bitch!” This game is getting ridiculous now in because of how evil you have to be. Why must all these people die, so I can help out a crappy rapper? CJ does not have any moral constraints. I am having trouble relating moral theories to actions that bring sadness, break the law, and bring no real joy to the protagonist. I have ceased to exist, because the guards killed me. This is probably due to me killing a bunch of them, but whatever.

    Crooked cops came out of Big Smokes house… very suspicious. Now I have to pick up Big Smoke’s cousin, and I can’t help but wondering who I will kill on this mission. Big Smoke lied to me, and apparently he just wanted to buy some weed off of the Mexican gang. When they did not give him weed he hit one with a bat, and I am now currently chasing the other one down. I do not need to get into how immoral this is. Even though Utilitarians may think weed is ok, I don’t think they would think hitting people with bats would be ok. I just received respect for murdering someone who refused to give us drugs. You cannot make morally right decisions in this game. You cannot justify anything you do in this game, well the amount I have played. Strangely fun though.

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    Sep 20th, 2010 at 21:10:35     -    Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

    Second Day: The next mission I start ‘tagging’ the turf, to get my reputation in the hood up. By the way, it is very hard to drive legally in this game. I actually can’t believe how hard it is to do legal stuff in this game. In the rival gang territory, I actually spray two gang members in the face, which apparently counts as a crime that allows police to shoot at me. Thus again showing that everyone is out to get me, since every crime is punishable by death. This world is scary, where I can be executed on the spot for committing any crime. I think it would be a very effective way to keep people in check morally, but it will make many people unhappy. I gain respect from the mission. \

    Gunna go get the homies back, but they find out one of their old homies is on crack and has turned him into a slave. So we gunna go beat us some drug dealers! Yeah! Stole the bat from the drug dealer. Is it ok to steal from bad people? I think the answer in our modern society would be no, since then we could technically get locked up for stealing. I’m taking on a crack house with just a bat? Aren’t I just going to get shot? No! I was beaten into submission by the help of glitching! No repercussions from crimes apparently, because I just beat a gang member outside of the house in front of a cop, and I ran into a bunch of cars. If you could cause destruction without penalty, should you? From a utilitarian stand point, since we talked about that in class today, probably not, for many people would be upset. Luckily for me no one gives two cents about my mindless destruction. I also got awarded muscle for killing the crack dealers, so I was just awarded for this… mother would be proud.

    The group and I are going to eat chicken, which seems a little racist since that stereotype is used so much. Uh oh rival gang saw us, we got to chase them down, or they will steal our homies, apparently. It seems like murder is the right thing to do, especially since I am not any other alternative. My brother, Sweet, told me to go to the gym to get gangster buff, so that homies will respect me. Again another thing about having to have a good image to impress people, so they can help me kill people. The stronger I get at the Gym the more powerful my melee attacks become, thus making my main purpose at the gym is to inflict more damage upon people. Also I can’t learn new fighting techniques from the boxer at the gym until I have more muscles. The next mission is called nines and AK's. CJ is the guy who brings up getting guns for the gang, in case the Ballas come through. OK, so now I am suggestion we all arm ourselves to the teeth, this is not good moral decision by any means. It looks like my guy is going to create a huge gang war, by the time I am done playing this. We are practicing shooting glass bottles, and apparently a car deserved to die. I am now being pestered for not wearing my colors and representing my hood. Yaaay I am more respected now that i'm wearing my gang colors. Playing a game that was in his mom’s house called: They Crawled From Uranus. That will have to end this chapter of my game log.

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    Sep 19th, 2010 at 19:36:58     -    Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

    All right! GTA time! CJ arrives in Los Santos to bury his mom, but is quickly picked up by crooked cops who threaten to charge him with murder of a cop. The white cop is racist; by calling the cab driver grease ball Mexican. They then toss CJ into Balla territory, which is a gang who will try to kill CJ since he used to belong to the Grove 5 years back. The game starts when I cop a bike. Interesting that I already commit a crime to protect my well being this early in the game. My safety has taken priority. Now I got to get back to hood. Knock over light pole with the bike. When I enter my hood CJ narrates: “Grove street, home, well before I fucked everything up.” When I enter my house I meet Big Smoke, and he says they will find who killed his ma. We then go to visit mom’s gravestone, and his brother is yelling at his sister for going out with a Mexican, which is strange because this reminds me of a High School situation when a Mexican girl and a African American fellow wanted to date, but their parents were both racist. After I am yelled at for ditching the hood there is a drive-by by the Ballas, and I cop another bike, since our car blew up. So far I have learned that I need to ignore the law to protect myself in this game, for this dangerous environment requires self-preservation above all else. Ryder tells me to, “Keep up mutha fucka. You just a liability CJ.” While I am escaping, thus reiterating my warm welcome.

    By completing the first mission I gained respect, which the game states that the higher my respect is, the more gang members I can command and that it will also help me in many other ways. Looks like I am making my way up the political ladder. Looks like a strong gang is my ultimate goal, which is strange that this is my desire. CJ thinks he should stay because the grove lost a lot of turf, and things look worse than ever. He also is told to get some gang colors on, for it’s embarrassing to be seen with him by Ryder. So far my motivation is this game is to please people and get them to respect me, whether it be by sculpting myself into looking gangsta or by breaking the law and moral standards, as long as it gets the Grove noticed.

    I was just called a bitch again. Anywaaay, I have accepted a mission that required me to go scare a pizza place. I have noticed that this game revolves on CJ taking a lot of abuse, whether it be physical or emotional, and that the only way to stop this is by gaining respect for our gang. It seems like gangs, which we all know are a big no no in our modern society, is the goal and main objective to this game. Our goal is to make morally wrong decisions so far. On the way I had to, repeat HAD to get a haircut, where the cheapest cut is 50 bucks. Thank god you can magically grow hair back, if you don’t like the haircut. Got the mustache, of course, and then I was directed to go eat pizza across the street. On the way to the pizza I was attacked by two rival gang members and witnessed a car jacking. I ended the gang conflict by parking my car on the gang members, which apparently traps them but does not hurt them. While in the pizza place Ryder holds up the place, and when I tell him that he is crazy I am instantly called a busta. So I receive negative feedback when I try to make morally right decisions. I have a feeling I am going to be a moral compass for the rest of the game.

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    1Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance (PS2)Playing
    2Batman: Arkham Asylum (360)Finished playing
    3Braid (PC)Playing
    4Chibi-Robo (GC)Playing
    5Dead Space 2 (360)Playing
    6Eternal Sonata (360)Finished playing
    7Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)Finished playing
    8Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)Finished playing
    9Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)Finished playing
    10Killer 7 (PS2)Playing
    11Penumbra: Black Plague (PC)Playing
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    13Penumbra: Requiem (PC)Playing
    14Resonance of Fate (360)Playing
    15Silent Hill (PS)Playing
    16Silent Hill 2 (PS2)Playing
    17Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC)Finished playing
    18Super Columbine Massacre RPG (PC)Finished playing
    19The Last Remnant (360)Playing

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