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Oct 11th, 2011 at 23:18:47 - Columbine RPG (PC) |
I played the second session of the game and started writing this entry in my head before I finished. Once again as I played I saw the value in the game. It gives gamers incite into the actions and the motivations of the horrific day. However this still does not over come the constant disgust I feel as I play. Despite the poor graphics and Pokemon like battles, the chilling truth behind the actions makes me sick. After gunning down students in the hall, classroom and Cafeteria I found myself in the library. I read a book in 7th grade called "She said Yes" which was about a girl who was executed during the Columbine shootings. The images in the story were vivid in my head as we played out the scene. Knowing full well the consequences of these actions and the horrible horrible days that would follow, I found it mentally hard to play. I hated to kill students and felt nothing positive as I reached new cut scenes.
Possibly the most surprising moment is when we shoot at the cops and I am given the option to kill myself. It reminded me of the feelings I felt as I watched this all play out on the news. I was young, barely 8 or 9 but I remember feeling how pointless it was. How these boys killed innocent kids and then themselves leaving no one to blame. ANd in fact that was what happened in real life, except the world began to blame music, video games and social interactions in school as the cause. The game definitely examined these as I explored the house yesterday. after killing myself I have been transported to hell. Tomorrow I have no idea what to expect.
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Oct 10th, 2011 at 23:37:42 - Columbine RPG (PC) |
Of course I am rather uneasy about playing this game. Its very nature of being based entirely on true current events seems tactless and tasteless. Call of Duty's WWII series maybe based on true events, but it simply renacts aspects of the war not people or victims.
I find that even in the very beginning as I wake up and begin listening to music the scenario is too real. The dialogue is bassed off things the boys actually said and the words are often chilling. Teamed with real pictures of the killers the feel is all too real. I feel uneasy as I complete objectives and near entering the school to gun down kids. Seeing real pictures of the bombs and weapons used in the shooting was also uncomfortable. But by far the worst part was planting the bombs in the cafeteria. Anyone who grew up during that time remembers the horrifying images of the boys opening fire in the cafeteria. By this point, despite having played only 20 minutes, despite all the blood and guts from Gears and Dead Island, I wanted to stop playing. Reaching the school made me feel horrible. Its not the gore, or the actions, it is the unbearable connections to reality that make it so hard to play. Knowing full-well that the real boys and girls younger then I am today were gunned down in their school simply because they were in the way.
However sick the game maybe, I find that the attention to detail and accuracy is incredible and effective. It describes the shootings in more depth then most any documentary I've ever seen. So despite appear to be in bad taste, I find it effective in presenting the horrible truths of that day. What drove them, how it happened and what went wrong all seem to be answered through the game. I am now minutes away from executing students and I am not looking forward to playing on for another hour.
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Sep 28th, 2011 at 11:15:56 - Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PC) |
Day 3 in San Andreas
My brother has owned the PC version since it came out and I have never gotten this far before. I now have acquired a large percentage of gang territory and I love filling up my car with my homies and raiding the next territory. I have to admit that once or twice I did spawn the tank just to see if it made life easier and at first it did. However driving that thing always attracts attention and while it usually completes the objectives I'm usually left with about 5 stars and every one with a gun is after me. But, back to the gangs. Once again I am confronted with a rather eerie realism in this aspect of the game. Territory is fought over and often times I would end up killing a good number of civilians in the process. Also I was killed once or twice while on unrelated missions, like a date, but I accidentally traveled into enemy territory. Now I am a gentleman so I did not roll down my window and open up with my mac 10, I usually just drove away, but the message was clear none the less. The gang activities I was involved in effected my life significantly. While in local territory I was safer then I was as a none gang member, in other parts of town where I used to be safe I was no longer. I say this as a white suburban kid, but I think this holds true to in real life gang activity. I've read in books like one about the Latin Kings, that many members join because they are interested in the safety it provides, not the deaths it causes. However much like the gang in the game, you must take the good with the bad.
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Sep 27th, 2011 at 23:37:00 - Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PC) |
Day 2 in San Andreas
I have played at least 4 hours now of the campaign and I have found more evidence of realism of the game. I am pretty familiar with GTA games, but not much of the games outside of shooting, looting and other things to fight cops. However, playing more of the campaign has allowed me to see new aspects of the game. One feature I was unaware of was the workout and dating missions. I don't question the game designers for requiring the gamer to literally drive to locations for missions. Driving can be fun and is essential to the game. However I was confused as to the purpose of working out in the context of the game. Working out makes your character stronger and faster. while eating food makes your character slower and fatter. Also dating I found equally pointless. The objectives were to drive from point A to point B and in one or two cases so far, to drive home drunk. These useless features are not only confusing but also unsettling. The game seems to be supporting driving drunk, which of course may seem smaller in comparison to the mass murders and hooker genocide that often occur in GTA, but I think the drunk driving falls in a different light. Like weight lifting, the drinking and driving seems to be once again reinforcing the realism of the characters and the actions in the game. One might argue that bad diets are discouraged and healthy activities are support in the game, thus providing a positive message to the gaming audience. However, I feel that this positive is greatly out numbered by negative messages and believe that if the gamer is able to absorb good messages he is just as capable to absorbing bad ones. That said, I don't support the idea that violent games cause violent people. Even though the campaign thus far has been filled with shootings and looting it, like all the other GTA's, has not influenced me, or even made me question the morality behind such actions. So as far as I am concerned with the game offers good or bad messages for gamers, I don't feel either of them are absorb or accepted as a reality by sane gamers.
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tjcoolj has been with GameLog for 13 years, 2 months, and 5 days |
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