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tjcoolj's Columbine RPG (PC)
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| [October 11, 2011 11:18:47 PM]
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I played the second session of the game and started writing this entry in my head before I finished. Once again as I played I saw the value in the game. It gives gamers incite into the actions and the motivations of the horrific day. However this still does not over come the constant disgust I feel as I play. Despite the poor graphics and Pokemon like battles, the chilling truth behind the actions makes me sick. After gunning down students in the hall, classroom and Cafeteria I found myself in the library. I read a book in 7th grade called "She said Yes" which was about a girl who was executed during the Columbine shootings. The images in the story were vivid in my head as we played out the scene. Knowing full well the consequences of these actions and the horrible horrible days that would follow, I found it mentally hard to play. I hated to kill students and felt nothing positive as I reached new cut scenes.
Possibly the most surprising moment is when we shoot at the cops and I am given the option to kill myself. It reminded me of the feelings I felt as I watched this all play out on the news. I was young, barely 8 or 9 but I remember feeling how pointless it was. How these boys killed innocent kids and then themselves leaving no one to blame. ANd in fact that was what happened in real life, except the world began to blame music, video games and social interactions in school as the cause. The game definitely examined these as I explored the house yesterday. after killing myself I have been transported to hell. Tomorrow I have no idea what to expect.
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| [October 10, 2011 11:37:42 PM]
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Of course I am rather uneasy about playing this game. Its very nature of being based entirely on true current events seems tactless and tasteless. Call of Duty's WWII series maybe based on true events, but it simply renacts aspects of the war not people or victims.
I find that even in the very beginning as I wake up and begin listening to music the scenario is too real. The dialogue is bassed off things the boys actually said and the words are often chilling. Teamed with real pictures of the killers the feel is all too real. I feel uneasy as I complete objectives and near entering the school to gun down kids. Seeing real pictures of the bombs and weapons used in the shooting was also uncomfortable. But by far the worst part was planting the bombs in the cafeteria. Anyone who grew up during that time remembers the horrifying images of the boys opening fire in the cafeteria. By this point, despite having played only 20 minutes, despite all the blood and guts from Gears and Dead Island, I wanted to stop playing. Reaching the school made me feel horrible. Its not the gore, or the actions, it is the unbearable connections to reality that make it so hard to play. Knowing full-well that the real boys and girls younger then I am today were gunned down in their school simply because they were in the way.
However sick the game maybe, I find that the attention to detail and accuracy is incredible and effective. It describes the shootings in more depth then most any documentary I've ever seen. So despite appear to be in bad taste, I find it effective in presenting the horrible truths of that day. What drove them, how it happened and what went wrong all seem to be answered through the game. I am now minutes away from executing students and I am not looking forward to playing on for another hour.
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tjcoolj's Columbine RPG (PC)
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Current Status: Playing
GameLog started on: Monday 10 October, 2011
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