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dkirschner's Saint's Row: The Third (PC)

[October 23, 2012 10:58:16 AM]

Saints Row: The Third is hands-down one of the most entertaining games I've ever played. I will say with certainty that it's the funniest. The Adult Swim endorsements and Tim & Eric promos are an indication to the style of humor. I lost it a handful of times and probably laughed out loud on 20 or 30 occasions. I'll name a few...

-when I rescued a pimp from a BDSM club and he began speaking in autotune.
-the first encounter with Prof Genki's Super Ethical reality Climax. hilarious. Youtube the Tim & Eric promo about this.
-characters singing Sublime's What I Got in the car on the way to a mission
-the camera fading in to the mission where you have to 'conquer your fear.' the fade in shows you in the driver's seat of the car with an angry tiger in the passenger seat.
-running down the street and hearing Time & Eric's song "Sports" blasting from a passing car. I almost fell out of my chair for that one.
-surviving the text adventure in the virtual world and the main character cursing the 'loose flagstones'
-Burt Reynolds

It's like what I wished GTA would be like. Get rid of the serious overtones and just go absurd with it. I spent half the game wearing one of those full-head bondage masks, a bright red bathrobe, and pink bunny slippers. The other half of the game I had on a priest robe and a Team Fortress 2 soldier bobblehead head. But there are hundreds of different pieces of clothing to buy. I was pleased at the end of the game to unlock the toilet as a playable character. I particularly like the way the lid flaps up and down when it runs.

The characters were funny and dialogue was great. The missions were entertaining. The game is action-packed full of explosions and crazy mid-air tank battles and airplane stunts. The side quests are called 'activities,' and they were tons of fun too, and got quite challenging. I busted out laughing at a couple of them, one of which involves you throwing yourself in front of traffic to rack up insurance claims.

The only negative thing about the game is it's obviously a white male project and sexism abounds. It's self-aware and yet not at the same time. The novelty of using a blow-up sex doll and a giant purple dildo to attack enemies wore off after a bit. I understand that Stilwater is a rough and dangerous place, but there is an over-the-top proportion of prostitutes and other scantily clad women. Granted, the main female characters are as self-assured and witty as the guys, but they're still the objects of sexual humor much more often than the men.

I've never played a Saints Row game before. The point is just to earn money and respect (experience) and take over the districts of the city of Stilwater from rival gangs by purchasing buildings and shops and beating up the other gangs. Pretty simple stuff, but tons of things to upgrade, and a lot of fun to do. The game reminded me a lot of Just Cause 2 with the over-the-top action and city control theme. It was a little on the short side. When I saved at the end, it had 12 hours tallied, but I'm pretty sure that's wrong. I was thinking closer to 20. But Steam won't show me the logged time right now, so I dunno. Much longer and I think the shooting and activities would have started getting repetitive. As it is, the game moves right along at a fast pace.

There are two endings, and in a sweet move, once you beat it with one you go back in the world and you can keep exploring and doing activities and do whatever you want. It also makes the final mission available ad infinitum so you can see the other ending without having to replay the whole game. I haven't done it yet but I will next time I play. The final final mission, by the way, is completely random. I wonder if the other ending is the same one. I'm tempted to go for 100% completion, but I'm not sure there's a point. I've done the story and I don't think I'll get any new dialogue or character interactions, which was the best part. So I will be on the lookout for DLC sales and for Saints Row 4 in the future!