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dkirschner's No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle (Wii)

[March 8, 2019 09:36:36 PM]

Meh Wii game with some highs and lows.

Style. The game's got this B movie aesthetic with over-the-top sex and violence. I was into the violence, but the sex stuff was mostly jiggly boobs and stupid one-liners. The main character, Travis Touchdown, is pretty irritating too. He's supposed to have bad-boy attitude. You save the game by going into the bathroom and pooping, and when you play as a woman character, by taking a sexy shower. It feels like the game is for 12-year-old boys and I would be embarrassed to play it around anyone. The cel-shading looks great.

Combat. Fun, but overstays its welcome. The game is broken up into fights where you climb the ranks (through 50, though you probably actually play 15 or so) of fighters to make it to #1. It makes very cool use of the Wiimote and nunchuck motion controls. When you deplete an enemy's health, you do an execution by swinging the Wiimote in whatever direction pops up on screen. This decapitates, disembowels, splits in half, and chops off limbs. Wonderfully gory and slick. You can also, when enemies are stunned, get in close and do piledrivers and things, by swinging the Wiimote and nunchuck together. The combat overstays its welcome because there are some seriously long sequences fighting regular enemies on the way to bosses. One time I thought the game might have been stuck in a loop. It was like 15 minutes of wave after wave after wave.

Bosses. Fights are generally very easy. A couple of them have little tricks to figure out, and these were my favorite ones. Bosses are very weird and imaginative. A couple of my favorites were fighting the cosmonaut ("the entire fucking space program," as Travis says) and the spider-girl. The trick to the latter is to time rolls when she shoots at you so you can close in and attack her. The final boss is a rich child at the top of a tower who looks sort of like the Riddler riding in a flying car. The second phase is him bulked up looking like a super hero. The third phase is him like a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade float. Yeah, I have no idea.

Story. The story makes little sense, aside from the "climb the ranks of fighters" thing. It picks up where the previous game left off, and makes a lot of references to events and characters from the previous game. It seems that some of the bosses you fight were in the first game (or their parents or siblings were or something). Travis has a protege who you get to play a couple levels with. She's basically there to be objectified. Then there's Travis's brother, who you rescue (I forget when or how this even happens) and do a fight inside of a dream, which was weird, with some anime girl in a robot suit. There's the head of the fighters' association, a woman with more personality, but also sex appeal. Then there is this mystery woman (Travis's girlfriend from the first game?) who talks on the phone, telling someone about various enemies you will fight, and the camera only shows her mouth, breasts, legs, and up her skirt. Yikes.

Minigames. These deserve a mention also for being super weird. You can play these to earn money to purchase upgrades and new weapons (all of which seem pretty unnecessary). I upgraded my strength to like 3 of 7 and my stamina maxed 7 of 7. I did purchase two weapons, which looked like that was it. Anyway, the mini games are all like retro arcade style. In one, you have to grill steak for customers to their desired done-ness. In another you have to collect scorpions that have infested a field. If you get stung, you have to go find anti-venom. Another sees you collecting coconuts by kicking trees and catching coconuts in a basket. The minigame NPC says "I wish my wife could handle coconuts as good as you." Har har. In another, you have to collect objects from outer space, bring them back to your shuttle, and avoid asteroids. In another, you have to lay pipes to control the flow of water. The more pipe you lay (e.g., the longer route you make the water flow), the more cash you can earn. These are silly and unnecessary, an odd diversion.

Jeane. The best part of the game is your cat, Jeane. Jeane begins the game with a weight problem at like 25 pounds. You can play with her in between missions to help her lose weight. You also need to feed her food to keep her happy. But you can give her the cheap shit for $10 or supreme cat meals for $1000, which of course I purchased. The best cat minigame is giving Jeane a massage. You have to move the analog stick back and forth, up and down, clockwise, or counterclockwise as the prompt appears on screen, and Travis rubs Jean's belly accordingly. It's pretty funny and cute. Jeane now weighs about 10 pounds and is happy and healthy. Yay!

Overall, this game was easy to play. It didn't really spark joy, but was relaxing and the right kind of weird, despite its often juvenile humor and objectification of women characters, for me to enjoy clicking through. Very glad to have experienced the controls.