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Tuesday 20 January, 2009
San Andreas – Day 2
I start up the game again, finally ridding myself of the stench of that horrible failure from last time. Guess I’ll follow the story for awhile. I get a phone call from some dude. I hang up after like 5 seconds because I really don’t care. I walk down the street and meet some dude named Ryder or something. He calls me a bitch and we drive to the barber’s. Guess we need a haircut something fierce; I can see why society hates these games. I change my hairstyle to an afro and beard; you know, to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies.
Now we go to a pizza place. Seriously, Mario games are more violent than this. Now Ryder is robbing the pizza place with a gun, for some reason. And the pizza dude whips out a shotgun, so we run away. Yippee. Anyway, I continue along the storyline. Uh oh, now I’ve gotta spray some graffiti! Look out cops, I am a menace to society. The graffiti spots I’m supposed to tag are hard to find, though. After like 10 minutes I get fed up and kill a few people with the spray paint. Of course, a cop shows up and beats me down. I need a gun or something.
Along the way back to the mission I failed, I run into a gang of purple dudes. They open fire and I run like crazy. I guess I’m in the wrong neighborhood. Anyway, I finally get back home to save, so I decide to explore my house. It’s pretty desolate except for a game I can play in-game. It’s called “It Crawled From Uranus.” Funny. It’s basically an Asteroids clone. I also find a camera upstairs. I don’t know why I would use it, but whatever.
After another like 15 minutes of fruitless graffiti hunting, I get extremely agitated. So what do I do? I punch out a cop on a motorcycle. A cop car stops to arrest me, and I spray them with my spray paint. They drop a gun, yay! I shoot another cop car that stops and ride off on the motorcycle. After a long chase that claims a few more cops I accidentally ramp into the river. My wanted level is 3 stars, so a helicopter comes and shoots me dead in the water. Ah well, at least it’s better than being wasted by a prostitute. Maybe I’m a decent gangster after all.
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