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Saturday 21 February, 2009
Super Columbine Massacre RPG – Day 1
I haven’t even downloaded the game before I already figure what it will be. I mean, with a name like that, what else could it be but an extremely obvious and over-the-top attempt to shock people and create controversy? I only hope I’m wrong and that it was made with some sort of message in mind. Well, I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.
The game opens with Eric waking up on what I assume is the big day. Snooping around the room, I find Doom for the PS2, and this little nugget of a message pops up: “You scored Doom for the PS2! Let the desensitization to violence begin!” Ugh, not 5 seconds into the game and it’s already blatantly throwing controversy into my face. Blaming video games for violence, what a totally original thing to do! Before I leave, I call up Dylan and we talk about the plan for today. We’re feeling nervous, but committed.
I go down to the basement and gather up all of the gear for the big event. Dylan comes over and we prepare to go. While down there, I check out some of the objects in the room. A pizza box initiates a flash back to when we were in the planning stages; I also see a recorder, on which we tape one last message. This managed to get to me; Eric spends his time apologizing to everyone and knowing how broken his parents will be. That hits pretty hard. WHY did they do this? I’ll never fully understand, and it frustrates me to no end. Seriously, they were so close to the end of high school, they could have just moved on to better things. High school sucks for everyone; it’s a terrible time for a teenager. But it’s also very insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and certainly not worth throwing your life away for some damn revenge. Good job game, you got me thinking.
I’m apprehensive about continuing on; I’m afraid at what the game might make me do. Yes, it’s just like any other shooting game out there, but something about knowing how real this is makes all the difference. I know the outcome, and there is no way I can change it. If it were up to me, I’d stop playing right now. But I have to keep going, so I do. Du Hast starts playing on their car radio as they drive to school, which lightens the mood a bit and reminds me that it’s just a game.
We get to school, and the first thing we need to do is get to the cafeteria. We have to sneak through the halls without being detected. Normally I’m pretty good at sneaking missions…except when the people FOLLOW YOU. So it’s not as simple as avoiding their eyesight. You have to sprint away from them as they inexplicably try and talk to you whilst avoiding the security cameras, inevitably racking up followers until you have a mob rushing you. It is very frustrating. Finally I manage to shake off my instinct to time their movements and jump to different hiding places, and just sprint down the hallway. Yippee, here’s the cafeteria.
And what do I do when I get there? I PULL THE FRIGGIN’ FIRE ALARM. It was put in the level design, so naturally I thought “Huh, I wonder what happens when I choose this?” Damn my RPG instincts. Anyway, after maybe 20 minutes of wandering around the cafeteria frustrated beyond belief and being “busted” numerous times, I finally figure out that I was supposed to get the bombs out of the trunk of our car. Ugh, that hurts.
So finally I set the bombs, we get all of our weapons together, and set the timer on the bomb in our car. I figure this is a good place to stop, right before all the action begins. Just got to keep reminding myself that it’s just a game…
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