Wednesday 25 January, 2012

I just started up the game today. I’ve never played GTA before, so this should be interesting. Just watched the intro. Apparently my mom died and I have to go home for her funeral. No sooner do I catch a cab from the airport than the police drag me out of the car, take my money, accuse me of murdering a police officer, and drop me in an enemy gang’s territory. Oh, and they also left all my stuff in the taxi. I’m probably never going to see that again. Police officers made a couple of racist remarks directed at me and the taxi driver, who’s apparently Mexican. Wonderful start here.
The game directs me to get on a bike I find nearby where I’ve been dumped. The stealing’s begun! I had some trouble adapting to the vehicle controls. Tried to ride the bike on the sidewalk to avoid obstructing traffic, but hit a pedestrian. Ooops. Continued pedaling. Despite hitting no more pedestrians and avoiding every single one of the buggers, they continue to yell at me. I’ve also noticed I’m completely and totally lost. I pause on the sidewalk to try and reorient myself. A pedestrian walks right into me (while I’m stopped) and then proceeds to yell at me for hitting her. Fail. Decide to get on the road. At first I try to obey traffic laws, but the lights take so long, and most of streets aren’t very crowded. Decide it’s a waste of time and just try to get to my goal. After getting turned around a few more times, I reach the house. A cut scene ensues, and I go to meet my brother, who’s apparently still a gang member. Then the rival gang shows up and takes a few shots at us in a drive by. Hoo boy.
We run to the conveniently placed bikes across the street. I’m not sure if they belong to the gang or we’re stealing them, but all things considered I’d go with the latter. The chase begins. Predictably, I get lost almost immediately and the shooters single me out. I get run off the road, take an inhuman number of bullets to the face before my health drops dangerously low, and then manage to escape to the first checkpoint. Repeat. I get lost again, take more bullets to the face, die this time, and proceed to the mission failed screen. Sigh. I have to walk back to the house this time (because of course the bike’s not here), where I get watch the same cut scene. Only this time the game freezes and black screens in the middle of it. So much for that. First impressions? This game is out to get me, it’s not fair, and cops are evil.

"This game is out to get me, it’s not fair, and cops are evil."

If you were to ask CJ what he feels about the world he lives in, do you think he's answer something like what you wrote above?